These agreements are really a pain, aren’t they. In one morning I managed to break every single one. It started Sunday after Malaika’s concert. She was determined to go to her friend’s house to work on a project. Since it was already almost 8:00 pm, I was not very happy about it, but agreed. Then both of us woke up in terrible moods Monday morning. All it took was checking grades and the fight began. Slamming doors, stomping around the house, whining, excuses until I lost my temper and both Malaika and I were crying. All of the agreements were broken and I wanted to run away from home.
Albert Einstein said “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” So by that definition I was insane Monday. I did all the things that I have done over and over and I got the same results even though I want different results. Imagine that! I wished I was someone else, somewhere else doing something else. Have you every felt that way? We all have. This agreement asked you to look at your life and see what is working and what is not. Then do something about it.
Sometimes people remain in a situation that is no longer healthy and productive and has instead become an on-going stuggle. They have been bogged down in the wetlands. Sometimes we have to choose to change the situation or our attitude toward it. What would happen if you choose to go to work instead of had to go to work? Richard is constantly on me about shoulda, coulda, woulda. I should clean the house. I could have gone to the store. Or I choose to clean the house. I chose to go to the store. What a difference one word makes. It gives you freedom and control.
Part of this agreement is to find out what works and what doesn’t. So take some time to write a list of ten things that are working for you. Then ten things that are not working for you. When I did this exercise some things were on both my lists. My practice was on both lists because it’s going and I love it, but it’s not were I want it to be. Malaika was on both lists too. On the working list because I love her and sometimes she is a wonderful girl. She was on the not working list twice! because she is 13 and we are having a bit of a rough road. When you are done writing your lists compare them. What catches your eye? Malaika was on my working list, That’s great. She is a wonderful daughter. So I choose to change my behavior so we have more good moments as mother and daughter. Remember, you can only change your behavior and attitude. On my not working list was my eating habits. So I have gotten back on track and choose to go back to the anti-allergy diet from my nutritionist. I feel so much better.
Take the time to follow through with this agreement. You will be amazed at what you are doing that is not working for you. Change the behavior if you can. Or change your attitude toward it. After all, you can’t run away from home and neither can I.