What is authenticity? It is described as the “unimpeded operation of one’s true or core self in one’s daily enterprise” by psychologists Brain Goldman and Michael Kernis. There are four separate and somewhat concrete components of authenticity. The first is self-awareness: knowledge of and trust in one’s own motives, emotions, preferences and abilities. Self-awareness includes things like knowing what food you like to whether you are feeling sad or anxious.

The second component of authenticity is clarity in evaluating your strengths and your weaknesses: acknowledging that you have “blown it” without resorting to blame or denial

Authenticity is also an important part of behavior. It requires acting in ways in line with your own values and needs, even at the risk of criticism or rejection. And it’s necessary for close relationships, because openness and honesty are required for intimacy to develop.

People who score high in authenticity are also more likely to respond to difficulties with effective coping strategies, have more satisfying relationships, and have a strong sense of self-worth and purpose. They also have the confidence to take on challenges and the ability to follow through to reach a goal. Those low in authenticity are likely to be defensive, suspicious, confused and easily overwhelmed.

Most of us are not always authentic. When we are not, we may experience inauthenticity as vague dissatisfaction, a sense of emptiness, or a feeling of self-betrayal. The reason is because it’s hard to be authentic. Accurate self-assessment can be painful and may cause trouble in your relationships.

Authenticity also requires making conscious, informed choices based on accurate self-knowledge so you must be willing to evaluate almost everything you do. That can be exhausting! Studies show that deliberation, no matter how trivial, costs psychic energy and we only have so much of that. Have you ever felt your brain hurts from thinking? That’s what I’m talking about.

To live authentically means to put aside immediate gratification for a deeper, more meaningful life. And, of course, we usually get in our own way because we often have a very rigid self-image that distorts experience and limits self-knowledge.

So what are we to do? Just take a deep breath and jump in. Here are some suggestions:

• Read novels – my personal fav. Get into someone else’s head for a while. It helps to distinguish your own identity.
• Meditate.
• Be deliberate – be aware of the choices you are making, instead of doing things without thinking.
• But not too deliberate – allow the option of “going with your gut”. Authentic reactions are much more at a gut level.
• Cultivate solitude – If your worried about being inauthentic, just shut the door and get some you time.
• But stay connected – it may seem like a contradiction, but community is an outlook toward life in which you define yourself in relation to the world around you.
• Play hard – whether your biking, climbing or just hanging out with friends, doing something you really enjoy allows you to express who you are.
• Be willing to lose – allow yourself to fail. If you’re leading a full authentic life, you’re going to fail some every day.